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Finding the right therapist is a lot like finding the right partner — you’re looking for someone you connect with, feel safe with, and trust enough to let your guard down. And just like dating, sometimes you have to vet a few people before you find the one who’s the best fit for you.<h2>Understanding Your Needs</h2>Before you can find the right therapist, get clear on your needs. Are you navigating a breakup, burnout, anxiety, or a big life transition? Are you looking for someone to help you rebuild your confidence or set boundaries?Knowing why you’re seeking therapy and what you hope to achieve makes it easier to find someone who truly understands and specializes in what you’re facing.<figure id="figure-8tydpgd43cmed5s79r"><img id="8tydpgd43cmed5s79r" src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/243ops5x1lV4CWMwT0AAjvERD2Z2rBxxFgnvEsvDCmEyn7Sm1fvGMvSHW8IuPu9w.jpeg" alt="therapist office" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/243ops5x1lV4CWMwT0AAjvERD2Z2rBxxFgnvEsvDCmEyn7Sm1fvGMvSHW8IuPu9w.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>Do Your Research</h2>Once you know your goals, start looking for therapists who work with those specific issues. Online directories like <a data-mce-href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us?msockid=256886ba1bae6f633bda925c1a786e69" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us?msockid=256886ba1bae6f633bda925c1a786e69" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Psychology Today </a>can help you filter by specialty, location, and insurance.But don’t stop there — there are other trusted directories that might be a better fit depending on your needs:<ol><li><a data-mce-href="https://www.goodtherapy.org/" href="https://www.goodtherapy.org/">GoodTherapy</a>: Similar to Psychology Today, but with additional quality filters.</li><li><a data-mce-href="https://www.therapyden.com/" href="https://www.therapyden.com/">TherapyDen</a>: Inclusive and therapist-driven, great if you’re looking for someone affirming of diverse identities.</li><li><a data-mce-href="https://openpathcollective.org/" href="https://openpathcollective.org/">Open Path Collective:</a> A nonprofit network that makes therapy more affordable for people who qualify for sliding-scale rates. </li><li>Specialized directories: For example, <a data-mce-href="https://providers.therapyforblackgirls.com/" href="https://providers.therapyforblackgirls.com/">Therapy for Black Girls</a>, <a data-mce-href="https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/" href="https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/">Inclusive Therapists</a>, and the <a href="https://www.seculartherapy.org/" data-mce-href="https://www.seculartherapy.org/">Secular Therapy Project</a> helps clients find care that aligns with their identity or worldview.</li></ol> And here’s my personal tip — don’t stop at reading a bio. If a therapist’s profile leaves you unsure or needing more, schedule that free consultation call. You’ll learn far more about whether you “click” in conversation than you will from a paragraph online.Check Credentials and ExperienceIn Alabama, therapists are licensed with credentials like LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor), LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker), or LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist). Beyond licenses, look for someone with experience helping clients who are working through challenges similar to yours.<h2>Use the First Session as a Test Drive</h2>I tell every new client in their first session: This is your space. If something isn’t working for you — whether it’s the pace, the approach, or even the relationship itself — speak up. Many of my clients come to me after losing their voice in other areas of life, so therapy is the perfect place to practice asserting your needs.Pay attention to how you feel in the room (or on the screen). Do you feel heard? Respected? Safe enough to be honest?<h3>Consider Practicalities</h3>Location, availability, fees, and insurance matter too. The best therapist in the world won’t help much if their schedule or pricing doesn’t work for you. Clarify these details early so they don’t become a stressor later.<figure id="figure-w64jb47ukmed5sjrr"><img id="w64jb47ukmed5sjrr" src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/347b51Y9yl8C93o5JnY8YBE3C4fgahpikyszZlPp4hMbBDnXvmb6RLAMoqNWHnpr.jpeg" alt="counseling session" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/347b51Y9yl8C93o5JnY8YBE3C4fgahpikyszZlPp4hMbBDnXvmb6RLAMoqNWHnpr.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>Trust Your Instincts</h2>Ultimately, trusting your instincts is crucial when finding the right therapist. Reflect on how you feel after the initial consultation. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to continue your search. Therapy is a personal journey, and finding the right therapist can make all the difference in achieving your mental health goals.<h3>Making the Decision</h3>You know yourself better than anyone. If you leave the first session feeling lighter, understood, or even just hopeful — that’s a good sign. If something feels off, it’s okay to keep looking. Therapy is about finding what works best for you and supporting your path to well-being.<h2>Ongoing Evaluation</h2>Therapy isn’t a one-and-done decision. Keep checking in with yourself: Are you making progress toward your goals? Do you still feel supported? Is this relationship helping you grow?The right therapist will want you to feel empowered, not obligated, to keep working with them.Bottom line: Finding a therapist is about finding your fit. It’s okay to take your time, ask questions, and even switch if you need to. The goal isn’t just to be in therapy — it’s to be in therapy that actually works for you.

Finding Your Ideal Therapist: A Step-by-Step Guide

Life transitions — whether it’s starting a new career, moving to a different place, or navigating changes in relationships — can shake the very ground beneath you. The uncertainty that comes with these shifts isn’t just about the external change; it’s the internal turmoil that can leave you feeling unsteady and unsure of where to step next.If you’ve ever felt adrift in the middle of a big change, you’re not alone. The truth is, while these seasons can feel heavy, there are ways to navigate them with both support and self-compassion.<figure id="figure-se3bb45yvfmedb191k"><img id="se3bb45yvfmedb191k" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/848989270/photo/close-and-emotional-portrait-of-loving-couple-at-winter-through-flickering-bokeh.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=B1nG8jEGApxYtqtW6D4VDLm011nwXgMtHgXLjZ7ANi8=" alt="Close and emotional portrait of loving couple at winter. Through flickering bokeh" title="Close and emotional portrait of loving couple at winter. Through flickering bokeh" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>1. Acknowledge the Weight of the ChangeBefore you try to “push through,” pause and name what’s happening. This isn’t a small thing — whether you’re stepping into a new career, relocating, or redefining a relationship, these moments take an emotional toll. Giving yourself permission to recognize the magnitude of the shift is the first step toward moving through it.2. Understand the Depth of LonelinessTransitions can be incredibly isolating. You may feel like no one fully sees the complexity of what you’re carrying. That loneliness can hit harder than the change itself, especially if you’re used to being the one who has it all together.3. Remember: You’re Not the Only OneEven when it feels like you’re the only one in the world going through this, you’re not. Many people have faced similar transitions, stumbled through the uncertainty, and come out the other side stronger. Knowing you’re not alone in this experience can bring comfort and perspective.4. Lean on Your Support NetworksThis is the time to let your circle show up for you. Friends, family, mentors — the people who want to see you win — can provide insight, emotional grounding, and a reminder that you are not walking this road by yourself.5. Seek Professional Support if You Need ItSometimes, the change feels bigger than what our personal network can hold. That’s where a mental health professional comes in. Therapy offers a safe space to unpack the emotions, build coping strategies, and regain your footing.6. Prioritize Self-Care Without GuiltIn seasons of upheaval, caring for your mind and body isn’t a luxury — it’s a necessity. Whether it’s rest, movement, journaling, or simply saying no to things that drain you, self-care helps you meet the chaos with steadiness.7. Embrace the Growth Within the ChangeWhile change often brings discomfort, it also holds incredible potential for growth. Every step — even the messy ones — is shaping you into a wiser, more resilient version of yourself.<figure id="figure-62smlmoffqmedazc4j"><img id="62smlmoffqmedazc4j" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2174389906/photo/ecology-and-nature-protection-concept.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=wj5mddE7U3ZFEspgcmEHp1XyL06H4bwwJRCoQLgeiP8=" alt="Ecology and nature protection concept." title="Ecology and nature protection concept." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2174389906/photo/ecology-and-nature-protection-concept.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=wj5mddE7U3ZFEspgcmEHp1XyL06H4bwwJRCoQLgeiP8=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>Life transitions can feel overwhelming and lonely, but you do not have to walk through them in silence. The journey may be unpredictable, but it’s also full of opportunities to deepen your understanding of who you are and what you value. With the right support, you can come out of this season not just surviving — but becoming.

Finding Connection in Life's Transitions

mobile jigsaw puzzle pieces business cooperation concept teamwork and cooperation Businessmen join a jigsaw team, charity, volunteerism, unity, teamwork.

Starting something new isn’t just about external changes — it’s about shifting who you are on the inside. Becoming is both exciting and uncomfortable. It stirs up questions like, “What does this mean for me? How will this affect my family? Am I even ready for this?”The truth is, the journey of self-discovery rarely comes with a neat map. It can feel thrilling one moment and unsettling the next. You may wrestle with the fear of being truly seen, the weight of admitting vulnerability, and the uncertainty of answering, “Am I okay?”And yet — this is where the growth happens.<h3>Why This Journey Feels So Big</h3>When we evolve, we’re not the only ones affected. Our relationships, our family roles, and even our sense of identity shift alongside us. Sometimes, that change is embraced by the people around us; other times, it challenges them to adjust right along with us.Change asks us to:Acknowledge the fear of being seen. Becoming often means stepping out of the shadows, and that can feel exposing. It’s okay to name the fear and keep going anyway.See vulnerability as strength. Admitting “I’m not okay” or “I’m figuring it out” is not weakness — it’s the doorway to deeper self-awareness.Understand the ripple effect. Your personal growth will touch your relationships. Keep communication open so those you love can walk this path with you, not against you.Ask, “What does this mean for me?” Take time to name your values, hopes, and the version of yourself you’re uncovering.Give space for adjustment. Just like you need grace while you grow, the people around you may need it, too.<h2>The Beauty in Becoming</h2>One of my favorite reminders is:“Don’t be afraid of change. You may lose something good, but you may gain something even better.”Change is rarely comfortable, but it is deeply transformative. You will have moments of doubt, moments of clarity, and moments where you surprise yourself with your own resilience. The process of becoming doesn’t have to be rushed — it’s meant to be lived.So, if you’re standing in the middle of a life transition — whether it’s a breakup, a new role, a fresh start, or a quiet internal shift — know this: You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to keep showing up for yourself, one brave step at a time.You are not alone in this journey. And the more you honor who you’re becoming, the more your life will begin to reflect the truest version of you.

Embarking on the Journey of Becoming: Navigating the Complexities of Change and Self-Discovery

The Ache That Doesn’t Go Away In a recent session, a client sat across from me, holding back tears, and said something that stopped me in my tracks:“I’ve been sitting with this ache in my chest, trying to make sense of it. But if I’m honest, I already know the truth — I’ve just been waiting for it to hurt less.” She wasn’t talking about a dramatic, explosive ending. She was describing the slow unraveling of a relationship that looked good on the surface but left her feeling anxious, unseen, and unsure of herself.&nbsp; When It Looks Like Love but Doesn’t Feel Like Safety It’s a hard truth to sit with: someone can care about you and still not know how to care for you.They can show up in beautiful, meaningful ways one day — and disappear the next. The most painful part? Those glimpses of connection can keep you holding on, even as your peace slowly slips away.As my client said:“I’ve been trying to make a home out of something that was never built on solid ground.” &nbsp; The Trap of Self-Doubt When emotional inconsistency becomes a pattern, it doesn’t just destabilize the relationship — it can erode your sense of self.You begin to wonder:Am I asking for too much? Is it me? Maybe if I just give it more time… This is common for people who’ve learned to overextend themselves in relationships. If you grew up shape-shifting to be accepted, loved, or chosen, this dynamic can feel familiar — even when it’s unhealthy.But here’s what I tell my clients:You are not too much. You are not hard to love. You are not asking for the impossible. &nbsp; How to Move from Ache to Peace Letting go doesn’t always come from anger. Sometimes it comes from clarity — from knowing that peace is better than chaos disguised as connection.Here are a few truths to hold onto when love doesn’t feel safe:<ul style="list-style-type: square;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: square;"><li>Pay attention to how your body responds to love: If love feels like anxiety, walking on eggshells, or waiting for the next inconsistency — it’s not safe love. And safe love does exist.</li><li>Believe patterns, not potential: Glimpses of connection are not the same as consistency. If you’re always waiting for the “good version” of someone, it may be time to accept the full picture.</li><li>Define what emotionally safe love looks like to you: Write it down. What does it feel like to be loved well — to be seen, supported, and chosen? Keep that list close when doubt creeps in.</li><li>Let go without hate: Some goodbyes are actually grace in disguise. You don’t have to demonize someone to accept they aren’t your person.</li><li>You don’t have to earn your worth: You were already worthy before the relationship — and you’re still worthy after it. &nbsp; Closing Encouragement Whether you’re letting go or still sitting with the ache, remember this:</li></ul>You don’t have to beg to be chosen. You don’t have to prove you’re enough. You don’t have to stay where you feel unseen. Healing begins when you choose yourself — not from bitterness, but from peace. Because love — the kind that reflects God’s presence — is steady, safe, and full of grace. And you deserve nothing less.&nbsp; Ready to Take the Next Step? If you’re struggling to let go of an unhealthy relationship or rebuild after heartbreak, you don’t have to do it alone. I help adults across Alabama heal from breakups, navigate life transitions, and recover from emotional burnout.

When Love Isn’t Safe: Letting Go Without Losing Yourself

Sad young woman embracing her mother at home

Life transitions can be daunting, especially if the narrative of self-reliance looms large. The thought of asking for help can feel terrifying — as if it challenges your independence. But as Brene Brown reminds us, vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s a profound strength that opens the door to authentic connections and shared resilience.<h2>The Strength in Vulnerability</h2>Vulnerability allows us to navigate life’s crossroads with courage and to lean into the arms of those who genuinely care. When we recognize and embrace that support, we tap into a transformative kind of strength that only grows in connection.<h3>Signs That Someone Truly Cares:</h3>Active Listening – They listen not just to respond, but to understand your feelings and experiences.Empathy in Action – Small gestures, comforting words, and tangible help all show their care.Consistent Presence – They show up, especially during hard seasons, with steady support.Respect for Boundaries – They give you space when needed, without pulling away emotionally.Celebrating Your Wins – They cheer for your successes, big or small.Non-Judgmental Support – They accept you as you are, flaws and all.<img id="fegrmu26gmedaa76s" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2227932966/photo/psychotherapy-meeting-woman-support-group-mantherapy-psychology-patient-psychologist.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=AldVhvIEmz0N9Gt4S1eawySR1LeOBjeZAFzPo4Uzs7M=" alt="psychotherapy meeting woman support group mantherapy psychology patient psychologist communication help circle advice talking business support hug together care friend togetherness love help happy friendship embracing trust hugging" title="psychotherapy meeting woman support group mantherapy psychology patient psychologist communication help circle advice talking business support hug together care friend togetherness love help happy friendship embracing trust hugging" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2227932966/photo/psychotherapy-meeting-woman-support-group-mantherapy-psychology-patient-psychologist.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=AldVhvIEmz0N9Gt4S1eawySR1LeOBjeZAFzPo4Uzs7M=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;">Whether you’re navigating a breakup, a move, a career change, or loss, having this kind of support isn’t a weakness — it’s a lifeline. The right people help you carry the weight, remind you of your worth, and encourage you to keep going when the path feels uncertain. You deserve support that meets you where you are. I help adults in Alabama navigate life transitions with compassion, clarity, and strategies that make the road ahead feel lighter.

Embracing the Power of Support: Navigating Life Transitions Together

Black woman breaths on the beach a cloudy day

I was in Walmart the other day, minding my business, trying to get in and out like a responsible adult. A couple accidentally skipped me in line, and the woman turned to ask if I wanted to go ahead. Every fiber of my old people-pleasing self wanted to say, “Oh no, you’re fine! Go ahead!”But instead, I smiled and said, “Yes, actually, I do.”And just like that, I reclaimed a small part of myself.&nbsp; The People-Pleasing Trap It seems like such a minor moment, but for those of us who have spent our lives making sure everyone else is comfortable—often at our own expense—these small shifts are monumental. People-pleasers are shape-shifters. We bend, mold, and shrink ourselves into whatever version we think will make others happy. And over time, we start questioning who we really are.&nbsp; What Are Boundaries and Why Do They Matter? I used to think boundaries were walls meant to push people away, but in reality, they exist to protect the right kind of love. As Lysa TerKeurst says in Good Boundaries and Goodbyes, boundaries “protect the right kind of love and help prevent dysfunction from destroying love.”Many of us grew up thinking love meant self-sacrifice — that the more we gave, the more valuable we were. But boundaries aren’t about withholding love; they’re about making sure the love we give is genuine, sustainable, and not rooted in guilt or fear. They allow us to stay present in relationships without losing ourselves.&nbsp; The Cost of Shape-Shifting If you weren’t afraid of disappointing others, what would your life look like?Would you say “no” more often? Would you stop over-explaining yourself? Would you feel lighter? People-pleasers are often driven by fear of abandonment, guilt, and shame. We believe that if we enforce a boundary, someone will leave. But here’s the truth: saying yes when you mean no is a betrayal of yourself. And over time, that self-betrayal erodes your sense of identity.&nbsp; Breaking the Pattern: How to Set Boundaries Without Losing Yourself Breaking free from people-pleasing doesn’t happen overnight, but small, intentional steps make a difference:<ol><li>Pause Before Responding – When someone makes a request, take a breath before automatically saying yes. 2. Get Comfortable with Discomfort – Boundaries may feel awkward at first. That doesn’t mean they’re wrong — just different. 3. Redefine Kindness – Being kind doesn’t mean self-sacrificing. You can honor your needs and still be compassionate. 4. Expect Resistance – Not everyone will like the new, boundary-setting you. Those who truly care will adapt. &nbsp; Your Challenge Today Think of one way you can choose yourself today. Maybe it’s something small, like taking your rightful place in line. Maybe it’s something bigger, like saying no to something that drains you. Whatever it is, do it unapologetically.</li></ol>Because when you say no to them, you say yes to yourself.&nbsp; Ready to Go Deeper? If you’re tired of shape-shifting and ready to set boundaries without guilt, therapy can help. I work with adults across Alabama who are navigating breakups, major life transitions, and the burnout that comes from always being “the strong one.”

The Shape-Shifter’s Dilemma: Boundaries, People-Pleasing, and Finding Yourself

Evolving Minds Therapy

At Evolving Minds Therapy, we help people who feel stuck, stressed, or weighed down by life’s challenges find their way forward. Whether it’s healing from past hurt, setting boundaries without guilt, or rebuilding your confidence, we’re here to make therapy feel safe, simple, and life-changing. Our sessions are down-to-earth, compassionate, and focused on helping you feel more like yourself again.

Evolving Minds Therapy

Blog

Finding Your Ideal Therapist: A Step-by-Step Guide

Finding Connection in Life's Transitions

Embarking on the Journey of Becoming: Navigating the Comp...

When Love Isn’t Safe: Letting Go Without Losing Yourself

Embracing the Power of Support: Navigating Life Transitio...

The Shape-Shifter’s Dilemma: Boundaries, People-Pleasing,...