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Close up shot of supportive and comforting hands for crucial empathy

Healing is often described as a journey, but the truth is—it’s not a straight road. There are seasons when we feel steady, strong, and proud of the growth we’ve made. We set boundaries. We carefully choose who gets access to us. We feel more rooted in who we are becoming.And then, loneliness sneaks in.Healing can feel lonely—not just because of the quiet in between relationships, but because you start noticing that not everyone around you is doing the same work. You become more aware of patterns, cycles, and choices. Sometimes you want to pull others up with you, hoping they’ll experience the same freedom—but in the process, you can feel yourself getting weighed down. That tension between your growth and their resistance can leave you feeling misunderstood and isolated.<figure id="figure-dm8hwz1ahmfy865e7"><img id="dm8hwz1ahmfy865e7" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1034003394/photo/hands-holding-another-hand.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=9me1WPSf88xRaa-3J-m9v3sItr5_KKemCYM7YqJ-S50=" alt="Hands holding another hand" title="Hands holding another hand" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1034003394/photo/hands-holding-another-hand.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=9me1WPSf88xRaa-3J-m9v3sItr5_KKemCYM7YqJ-S50=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>&nbsp; The Slipping Point I often hear clients say, “I thought I had gotten past this, but then I slipped back.” That slip-back doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it means you’re human.Sometimes, the very lessons we’ve taught others—or even the boundaries we’ve been preaching to ourselves—get tested in ways we didn’t expect. One day you’re saying, “Never again,” and the next, you’re entertaining someone who doesn’t deserve your access. It’s not because you forgot your worth. It’s because loneliness and longing are powerful forces that can blur our vision.We think we have it under control. We tell ourselves, “This time is different.” But if we’re honest, deep down we recognize the slipping long before anyone else does.<h2>Why It Happens</h2> Healing is not just about knowing what to do—it’s about practicing it when the test shows up. And tests don’t usually come when we’re strong; they come when we’re tired, vulnerable, or lonely.Here’s what can make us slip:Loneliness convinces us to settle. We start craving connection more than we crave alignment. Old patterns feel comfortable. Even unhealthy habits can feel familiar, and familiarity can feel safe in the moment. Growth gets heavy. Holding yourself accountable is exhausting, and sometimes we let our guard down. From a mental health perspective, loneliness can actually activate the same areas of the brain as physical pain. That’s why the urge to go back to what’s familiar can feel so strong—it’s your brain looking for relief, even if that relief comes from an unhealthy place.<h3>&nbsp; What To Remember</h3> If you’ve found yourself slipping back into old patterns, take a breath. You are not starting over. You are not broken. And you are not the “wounded version” of yourself forever.Every time you notice the slip and pause to reflect, you’re actually reinforcing your healing. Recognizing it is proof that the work has taken root in you—it’s still alive and shaping you.Healing is not perfection. Healing is practice.<figure id="figure-sj7pgp6l9mfy8bmr5"><img id="sj7pgp6l9mfy8bmr5" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1313653342/photo/peaceful-hispanic-female-with-closed-eyes-keep-hands-to-heart.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=F-OXXModbkJ_61xJUTIhadHks2KzUxJo0gsUmCNtTUU=" alt="Peaceful hispanic female with closed eyes keep hands to heart" title="Peaceful hispanic female with closed eyes keep hands to heart" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1313653342/photo/peaceful-hispanic-female-with-closed-eyes-keep-hands-to-heart.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=F-OXXModbkJ_61xJUTIhadHks2KzUxJo0gsUmCNtTUU=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h2>&nbsp; A Gentle Reflection</h2>Ask yourself:Where have I noticed myself slipping into old habits? What unmet need was I trying to fill in that moment? How can I meet that need in a healthier way next time? And if shame starts to creep in, remind yourself: shame wants you stuck, but grace wants you growing.Healing isn’t about never slipping again. It’s about catching yourself sooner, showing yourself compassion, and choosing differently the next time around.So if you’ve been there—if you’ve felt yourself reverting to the version of you that you swore you left behind—you are not alone. This is part of the journey. And every return to yourself makes you stronger.&nbsp; Want to Go Deeper? You don’t have to figure this out alone. This is the kind of work therapy supports—unpacking the pull of old patterns, understanding the needs underneath, and practicing healthier ways to respond. If you’re ready, I’d love to walk alongside you in that process.And if you want to begin reflecting on your own, my guided journal <a data-mce-href="https://evolvingmind3.gumroad.com/l/ikatqk" href="https://evolvingmind3.gumroad.com/l/ikatqk">Boundaries Without Guilt</a> was created to help you slow down, notice your patterns, and rebuild trust with yourself one day at a time.Both therapy and journaling can be powerful tools to help you move from slipping back into old cycles to creating new, lasting ones.

Healing Isn’t Perfect: Learning to Catch Yourself with Compassion

During group therapy people consoling woman of Black ethnicity

Change has a way of sneaking up on us. Sometimes it’s planned — other times, it’s as if life flips without asking for permission.A few months ago, I had no idea that the words I’d written for a blog draft would end up becoming my reality. Within weeks, I went from working in a job I loved, to taking FMLA, to making the hard choice to resign. Not because I wanted to, but because I had to protect my mental health and peace.<h2>Shifting Seasons</h2>That decision left me in a season of reimagining. I’ve poured more into my private practice, and in many ways, I’m circling back to why I started: helping women break free from guilt, people-pleasing, and the weight of everyone else’s expectations. Because women deserve spaces that honor their voice and protect their peace.This feels like my own breaking free moment. I’ve talked about blogging for years, but fear kept me from sharing consistently. Now, I’m choosing to write scared, trust God, and figure out entrepreneurship one step at a time<figure id="figure-t7a0ahhnksmedblgdj"><img id="t7a0ahhnksmedblgdj" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2221678738/photo/inspirational-and-motivational-words-or-quotes-repeat-actions-become-your-habits-the-concept.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=SmFEeFLCOG4UA41-L2r27hKkHOsYipwfWZbmUd0atUc=" alt="Inspirational and motivational words or quotes repeat actions become your habits. the concept of consistency or continuous doing" title="Inspirational and motivational words or quotes repeat actions become your habits. the concept of consistency or continuous doing" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2221678738/photo/inspirational-and-motivational-words-or-quotes-repeat-actions-become-your-habits-the-concept.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=SmFEeFLCOG4UA41-L2r27hKkHOsYipwfWZbmUd0atUc=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure><h2>When Change Feels Like Tug-of-War </h2>Change is constant — but some changes hit harder because they’re out of our control. It can feel like a tug-of-war against solid cement. No matter how hard you pull, it doesn’t budge. Accepting that reality is hard, especially when the change comes from other people’s actions or treatment of us.The Serenity Prayer captures it perfectly:God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.One of life’s hardest lessons is realizing we can’t control how others act — even when we’ve shown them our best. As someone who naturally puts others first, it’s a struggle when that energy isn’t reciprocated. The line between compassion and feeling used can get blurry.<h3>Boundaries: The Bridge Between Compassion and Self-Respect</h3><figure id="figure-yrx316bxspmedbpif3"><img id="yrx316bxspmedbpif3" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1941327908/photo/silhouette-of-a-woman-crossing-a-bridge-contemplating-the-landscape-of-clouds-and-fog-on-her.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=aVPsVlC14iAhNHS1QxQGaZ30NZaPMP9mbiHZxXeRDNc=" alt="Silhouette of a woman crossing a bridge contemplating the landscape of clouds and fog on her vacation alone" title="Silhouette of a woman crossing a bridge contemplating the landscape of clouds and fog on her vacation alone" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="null" data-positiony="null" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/1941327908/photo/silhouette-of-a-woman-crossing-a-bridge-contemplating-the-landscape-of-clouds-and-fog-on-her.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=aVPsVlC14iAhNHS1QxQGaZ30NZaPMP9mbiHZxXeRDNc=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;"></figure>We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we allow others to treat us. That’s where boundaries come in.<h3>5 Steps to Establish Healthy Boundaries:</h3><ol><li>Self-Reflection – Know your needs, values, and what behavior is acceptable to you.</li><li>Communicate Clearly – Share your boundaries openly and without apology.</li><li>Learn to Say No – Protect your peace when a situation crosses the line.</li><li>Prioritize Self-Care – Anchor your worth in practices that strengthen you.</li><li>Evaluate Relationships – Keep the ones that honor your values and let go of those that don’t.</li></ol>Boundaries aren’t walls. They’re riverbanks — guiding the flow of your life so it stays healthy, steady, and life-giving.<figure id="figure-luhnzs77rdmedbr6dh"><img id="luhnzs77rdmedbr6dh" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/960560536/photo/motivational-and-inspirational-quote.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=lNcQZUna3h1yUdlyKXR3gvaD-04DoD1U4LELmItIZ2g=" alt="Motivational and inspirational quote." title="Motivational and inspirational quote." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/960560536/photo/motivational-and-inspirational-quote.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=lNcQZUna3h1yUdlyKXR3gvaD-04DoD1U4LELmItIZ2g=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>Sometimes, change doesn’t wait for permission. It comes uninvited, flips your plans upside down, and forces you to confront what’s within your control and what isn’t. In those moments, you get to choose — will I fight the cement, or will I step back and build the life I want with the tools I do have?For me, this season is about choosing courage, embracing vulnerability, and letting my “becoming” unfold — one honest blog post at a time.And if you’re in a season where boundaries feel heavy or hard, my guided journal Boundaries Without Guilt may help. It’s a 30-day journey to set boundaries with confidence, release guilt, and protect your peace.<a title="Boundaries Without Guilt: A 30-Day Guided Journal for Women Who Are Done Shrinking" href="https://evolvingmind3.gumroad.com/l/ikatqk" target="_blank" data-mce-href="https://evolvingmind3.gumroad.com/l/ikatqk" rel="noopener">Boundaries Without Guilt: A 30-Day Guided Journal for Women Who Are Done Shrinking</a>

When Life Shifts Before You’re Ready

Biracial female psychologist hands holding palms of millennial woman patient.

Finding the right therapist is a lot like finding the right partner — you’re looking for someone you connect with, feel safe with, and trust enough to let your guard down. And just like dating, sometimes you have to vet a few people before you find the one who’s the best fit for you.<h2>Understanding Your Needs</h2>Before you can find the right therapist, get clear on your needs. Are you navigating a breakup, burnout, anxiety, or a big life transition? Are you looking for someone to help you rebuild your confidence or set boundaries?Knowing why you’re seeking therapy and what you hope to achieve makes it easier to find someone who truly understands and specializes in what you’re facing.<figure id="figure-8tydpgd43cmed5s79r"><img id="8tydpgd43cmed5s79r" src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/243ops5x1lV4CWMwT0AAjvERD2Z2rBxxFgnvEsvDCmEyn7Sm1fvGMvSHW8IuPu9w.jpeg" alt="therapist office" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/243ops5x1lV4CWMwT0AAjvERD2Z2rBxxFgnvEsvDCmEyn7Sm1fvGMvSHW8IuPu9w.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>Do Your Research</h2>Once you know your goals, start looking for therapists who work with those specific issues. Online directories like <a data-mce-href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us?msockid=256886ba1bae6f633bda925c1a786e69" href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/us?msockid=256886ba1bae6f633bda925c1a786e69" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Psychology Today </a>can help you filter by specialty, location, and insurance.But don’t stop there — there are other trusted directories that might be a better fit depending on your needs:<ol><li><a data-mce-href="https://www.goodtherapy.org/" href="https://www.goodtherapy.org/">GoodTherapy</a>: Similar to Psychology Today, but with additional quality filters.</li><li><a data-mce-href="https://www.therapyden.com/" href="https://www.therapyden.com/">TherapyDen</a>: Inclusive and therapist-driven, great if you’re looking for someone affirming of diverse identities.</li><li><a data-mce-href="https://openpathcollective.org/" href="https://openpathcollective.org/">Open Path Collective:</a> A nonprofit network that makes therapy more affordable for people who qualify for sliding-scale rates. </li><li>Specialized directories: For example, <a data-mce-href="https://providers.therapyforblackgirls.com/" href="https://providers.therapyforblackgirls.com/">Therapy for Black Girls</a>, <a data-mce-href="https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/" href="https://www.inclusivetherapists.com/">Inclusive Therapists</a>, and the <a href="https://www.seculartherapy.org/" data-mce-href="https://www.seculartherapy.org/">Secular Therapy Project</a> helps clients find care that aligns with their identity or worldview.</li></ol> And here’s my personal tip — don’t stop at reading a bio. If a therapist’s profile leaves you unsure or needing more, schedule that free consultation call. You’ll learn far more about whether you “click” in conversation than you will from a paragraph online.Check Credentials and ExperienceIn Alabama, therapists are licensed with credentials like LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor), LCSW (Licensed Clinical Social Worker), or LMFT (Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist). Beyond licenses, look for someone with experience helping clients who are working through challenges similar to yours.<h2>Use the First Session as a Test Drive</h2>I tell every new client in their first session: This is your space. If something isn’t working for you — whether it’s the pace, the approach, or even the relationship itself — speak up. Many of my clients come to me after losing their voice in other areas of life, so therapy is the perfect place to practice asserting your needs.Pay attention to how you feel in the room (or on the screen). Do you feel heard? Respected? Safe enough to be honest?<h3>Consider Practicalities</h3>Location, availability, fees, and insurance matter too. The best therapist in the world won’t help much if their schedule or pricing doesn’t work for you. Clarify these details early so they don’t become a stressor later.<figure id="figure-w64jb47ukmed5sjrr"><img id="w64jb47ukmed5sjrr" src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/347b51Y9yl8C93o5JnY8YBE3C4fgahpikyszZlPp4hMbBDnXvmb6RLAMoqNWHnpr.jpeg" alt="counseling session" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;" data-mce-src="https://cdn.durable.co/getty/347b51Y9yl8C93o5JnY8YBE3C4fgahpikyszZlPp4hMbBDnXvmb6RLAMoqNWHnpr.jpeg" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9;"></figure><h2>Trust Your Instincts</h2>Ultimately, trusting your instincts is crucial when finding the right therapist. Reflect on how you feel after the initial consultation. If something doesn’t feel right, it’s okay to continue your search. Therapy is a personal journey, and finding the right therapist can make all the difference in achieving your mental health goals.<h3>Making the Decision</h3>You know yourself better than anyone. If you leave the first session feeling lighter, understood, or even just hopeful — that’s a good sign. If something feels off, it’s okay to keep looking. Therapy is about finding what works best for you and supporting your path to well-being.<h2>Ongoing Evaluation</h2>Therapy isn’t a one-and-done decision. Keep checking in with yourself: Are you making progress toward your goals? Do you still feel supported? Is this relationship helping you grow?The right therapist will want you to feel empowered, not obligated, to keep working with them.Bottom line: Finding a therapist is about finding your fit. It’s okay to take your time, ask questions, and even switch if you need to. The goal isn’t just to be in therapy — it’s to be in therapy that actually works for you.

Finding Your Ideal Therapist: A Step-by-Step Guide

Life transitions — whether it’s starting a new career, moving to a different place, or navigating changes in relationships — can shake the very ground beneath you. The uncertainty that comes with these shifts isn’t just about the external change; it’s the internal turmoil that can leave you feeling unsteady and unsure of where to step next.If you’ve ever felt adrift in the middle of a big change, you’re not alone. The truth is, while these seasons can feel heavy, there are ways to navigate them with both support and self-compassion.<figure id="figure-se3bb45yvfmedb191k"><img id="se3bb45yvfmedb191k" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/848989270/photo/close-and-emotional-portrait-of-loving-couple-at-winter-through-flickering-bokeh.jpg?b=1&s=2048x2048&w=0&k=20&c=B1nG8jEGApxYtqtW6D4VDLm011nwXgMtHgXLjZ7ANi8=" alt="Close and emotional portrait of loving couple at winter. Through flickering bokeh" title="Close and emotional portrait of loving couple at winter. Through flickering bokeh" class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: center center;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionX="undefined" data-positionY="undefined" data-fullWidth="false"/></figure>1. Acknowledge the Weight of the ChangeBefore you try to “push through,” pause and name what’s happening. This isn’t a small thing — whether you’re stepping into a new career, relocating, or redefining a relationship, these moments take an emotional toll. Giving yourself permission to recognize the magnitude of the shift is the first step toward moving through it.2. Understand the Depth of LonelinessTransitions can be incredibly isolating. You may feel like no one fully sees the complexity of what you’re carrying. That loneliness can hit harder than the change itself, especially if you’re used to being the one who has it all together.3. Remember: You’re Not the Only OneEven when it feels like you’re the only one in the world going through this, you’re not. Many people have faced similar transitions, stumbled through the uncertainty, and come out the other side stronger. Knowing you’re not alone in this experience can bring comfort and perspective.4. Lean on Your Support NetworksThis is the time to let your circle show up for you. Friends, family, mentors — the people who want to see you win — can provide insight, emotional grounding, and a reminder that you are not walking this road by yourself.5. Seek Professional Support if You Need ItSometimes, the change feels bigger than what our personal network can hold. That’s where a mental health professional comes in. Therapy offers a safe space to unpack the emotions, build coping strategies, and regain your footing.6. Prioritize Self-Care Without GuiltIn seasons of upheaval, caring for your mind and body isn’t a luxury — it’s a necessity. Whether it’s rest, movement, journaling, or simply saying no to things that drain you, self-care helps you meet the chaos with steadiness.7. Embrace the Growth Within the ChangeWhile change often brings discomfort, it also holds incredible potential for growth. Every step — even the messy ones — is shaping you into a wiser, more resilient version of yourself.<figure id="figure-62smlmoffqmedazc4j"><img id="62smlmoffqmedazc4j" src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2174389906/photo/ecology-and-nature-protection-concept.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=wj5mddE7U3ZFEspgcmEHp1XyL06H4bwwJRCoQLgeiP8=" alt="Ecology and nature protection concept." title="Ecology and nature protection concept." class="object-cover bg-gray-100 rounded-sm md:rounded-md lg:rounded-lg" style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;" data-corners="default" data-aspect="16:9" data-caption="" data-positionx="undefined" data-positiony="undefined" data-fullwidth="false" data-mce-src="https://media.gettyimages.com/id/2174389906/photo/ecology-and-nature-protection-concept.jpg?b=1&amp;s=2048x2048&amp;w=0&amp;k=20&amp;c=wj5mddE7U3ZFEspgcmEHp1XyL06H4bwwJRCoQLgeiP8=" data-mce-style="aspect-ratio: 16/9; object-position: undefined undefined;"></figure>Life transitions can feel overwhelming and lonely, but you do not have to walk through them in silence. The journey may be unpredictable, but it’s also full of opportunities to deepen your understanding of who you are and what you value. With the right support, you can come out of this season not just surviving — but becoming.

Finding Connection in Life's Transitions

mobile jigsaw puzzle pieces business cooperation concept teamwork and cooperation Businessmen join a jigsaw team, charity, volunteerism, unity, teamwork.

Starting something new isn’t just about external changes — it’s about shifting who you are on the inside. Becoming is both exciting and uncomfortable. It stirs up questions like, “What does this mean for me? How will this affect my family? Am I even ready for this?”The truth is, the journey of self-discovery rarely comes with a neat map. It can feel thrilling one moment and unsettling the next. You may wrestle with the fear of being truly seen, the weight of admitting vulnerability, and the uncertainty of answering, “Am I okay?”And yet — this is where the growth happens.<h3>Why This Journey Feels So Big</h3>When we evolve, we’re not the only ones affected. Our relationships, our family roles, and even our sense of identity shift alongside us. Sometimes, that change is embraced by the people around us; other times, it challenges them to adjust right along with us.Change asks us to:Acknowledge the fear of being seen. Becoming often means stepping out of the shadows, and that can feel exposing. It’s okay to name the fear and keep going anyway.See vulnerability as strength. Admitting “I’m not okay” or “I’m figuring it out” is not weakness — it’s the doorway to deeper self-awareness.Understand the ripple effect. Your personal growth will touch your relationships. Keep communication open so those you love can walk this path with you, not against you.Ask, “What does this mean for me?” Take time to name your values, hopes, and the version of yourself you’re uncovering.Give space for adjustment. Just like you need grace while you grow, the people around you may need it, too.<h2>The Beauty in Becoming</h2>One of my favorite reminders is:“Don’t be afraid of change. You may lose something good, but you may gain something even better.”Change is rarely comfortable, but it is deeply transformative. You will have moments of doubt, moments of clarity, and moments where you surprise yourself with your own resilience. The process of becoming doesn’t have to be rushed — it’s meant to be lived.So, if you’re standing in the middle of a life transition — whether it’s a breakup, a new role, a fresh start, or a quiet internal shift — know this: You don’t have to have all the answers. You just have to keep showing up for yourself, one brave step at a time.You are not alone in this journey. And the more you honor who you’re becoming, the more your life will begin to reflect the truest version of you.

Embarking on the Journey of Becoming: Navigating the Complexities of Change and Self-Discovery

The Ache That Doesn’t Go Away In a recent session, a client sat across from me, holding back tears, and said something that stopped me in my tracks:“I’ve been sitting with this ache in my chest, trying to make sense of it. But if I’m honest, I already know the truth — I’ve just been waiting for it to hurt less.” She wasn’t talking about a dramatic, explosive ending. She was describing the slow unraveling of a relationship that looked good on the surface but left her feeling anxious, unseen, and unsure of herself.&nbsp; When It Looks Like Love but Doesn’t Feel Like Safety It’s a hard truth to sit with: someone can care about you and still not know how to care for you.They can show up in beautiful, meaningful ways one day — and disappear the next. The most painful part? Those glimpses of connection can keep you holding on, even as your peace slowly slips away.As my client said:“I’ve been trying to make a home out of something that was never built on solid ground.” &nbsp; The Trap of Self-Doubt When emotional inconsistency becomes a pattern, it doesn’t just destabilize the relationship — it can erode your sense of self.You begin to wonder:Am I asking for too much? Is it me? Maybe if I just give it more time… This is common for people who’ve learned to overextend themselves in relationships. If you grew up shape-shifting to be accepted, loved, or chosen, this dynamic can feel familiar — even when it’s unhealthy.But here’s what I tell my clients:You are not too much. You are not hard to love. You are not asking for the impossible. &nbsp; How to Move from Ache to Peace Letting go doesn’t always come from anger. Sometimes it comes from clarity — from knowing that peace is better than chaos disguised as connection.Here are a few truths to hold onto when love doesn’t feel safe:<ul style="list-style-type: square;" data-mce-style="list-style-type: square;"><li>Pay attention to how your body responds to love: If love feels like anxiety, walking on eggshells, or waiting for the next inconsistency — it’s not safe love. And safe love does exist.</li><li>Believe patterns, not potential: Glimpses of connection are not the same as consistency. If you’re always waiting for the “good version” of someone, it may be time to accept the full picture.</li><li>Define what emotionally safe love looks like to you: Write it down. What does it feel like to be loved well — to be seen, supported, and chosen? Keep that list close when doubt creeps in.</li><li>Let go without hate: Some goodbyes are actually grace in disguise. You don’t have to demonize someone to accept they aren’t your person.</li><li>You don’t have to earn your worth: You were already worthy before the relationship — and you’re still worthy after it. &nbsp; Closing Encouragement Whether you’re letting go or still sitting with the ache, remember this:</li></ul>You don’t have to beg to be chosen. You don’t have to prove you’re enough. You don’t have to stay where you feel unseen. Healing begins when you choose yourself — not from bitterness, but from peace. Because love — the kind that reflects God’s presence — is steady, safe, and full of grace. And you deserve nothing less.&nbsp; Ready to Take the Next Step? If you’re struggling to let go of an unhealthy relationship or rebuild after heartbreak, you don’t have to do it alone. I help adults across Alabama heal from breakups, navigate life transitions, and recover from emotional burnout.

When Love Isn’t Safe: Letting Go Without Losing Yourself

Evolving Minds Therapy

At Evolving Minds Therapy, we help people who feel stuck, stressed, or weighed down by life’s challenges find their way forward. Whether it’s healing from past hurt, setting boundaries without guilt, or rebuilding your confidence, we’re here to make therapy feel safe, simple, and life-changing. Our sessions are down-to-earth, compassionate, and focused on helping you feel more like yourself again.